Waiting

"Patience is a virtue," everyone says.  Often one hears a response along the lines, "Yes, but it's one I don't have."  I feel like this response misses the mark terribly and perpetuates the foolhardy idea that our virtues (or vices, often) are just something we are born with and will end up living life according to.  It undermines the idea that we humans are free and have the power to act for ourselves, debasing man to nothing more than an animal, or even the earth, water, air, or other elements of nature.  Since, as you may have noticed, the author finds this idea somewhat repugnant he will often retort with something like, "And we must learn to develop virtues."

Patience is, or at least is often perceived to be, how we handle waiting.  Do we sit quietly, do we fidget, do we pace up and down?  There has been an odd change recently that has caused us to think many things should happen instantaneously.  When I worked as a camp counselor the employee use computers were very obsolete and of course ran quite slowly.  Rather than disparaging the frustrating situation I came to refer to these as the "Zen computers."  I try to take this sort of attitude toward a lot of waiting; standing in a line, downloading a webpage, or standing at the bus stop can be great opportunities to think and observe our thinking.

Often waiting frustrates us because we feel such a drive to get our next task finished or such desire to have whatever we'll get after the wait.  I've had to adjust lately to some of these feelings myself.  I recently changed from a company that would give me a weekly paycheck to one that pays every two weeks.  This means I have to wait longer when I want to make a payment on my student loans, credit card, rent, cable bill, or anything else.  I've had to do slightly more planning ahead, but the bigger deal is becoming comfortable with things the way they are until I have the resources to change them.  I think this is the greater principle here.  Often we get frustrated, aggravated, or just plain angry when we're forced to wait because it's such a clear signal that there's something we can't control.  Facing our limitations is always humbling, and many don't wish to be humbled.

Lately I've also been waiting to get married.  This has been one of the most interesting experiences I've had in learning to wait.  I feel such deep desire toward my beloved as well as a certain sense that I won't be taking the next step in my life until the wedding day has come.  I'm learning a lot when about enjoying the experiences I'm having even while wanting so much more.  I think this is what we're really seeking when we talk about learning delayed gratification.

It's easy to view waiting as something onerous and obnoxious.  It's common to equate a wait with a difficulty.  I think waiting is a great way to learn, especially about ourselves.  Know thyself, the saying goes, and while doing things is important we also need to take time to get to know ourselves in a more intimate setting.  Waiting is a great way to do that.