Love Day By Day

My fiancée and I met with a friend of mine recently and in retelling how we met it was noted that the story wasn't, "love at first sight."  As deeply in love with my bride to be as I am it did cause me to wonder a bit.  I do think there was some initial attraction between us way back then, but ultimately I agree there was no falling in love head over heels upon laying eyes one on the other.  As I look back on our relationship it's grown over time, slowly and gradually.  We don't have love at first sight, but we have what I'm calling love day by day.

Love day by day is that understated love that's expressed between two folks consistently and sincerely.  It's us saying our daily "I love you"s and wanting to spend time with each other.  It's trying to find ways to make the other person happy.  I could go on, but don't wish to belabor readers with a sappy list.  Going back and reading over this I'm almost getting a little snide myself.

I would like to discuss the triangular theory of love, though.  It floats around in relationship advice, therapy, and books and promotes the idea of love primarly being made up of intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy and commitment without passion is friendship, and other combinations can define other relationships.  I'm prone to a certain measure of emotional austerity and suspect it would be difficult for me to ever feel "love at first sight", but from the descriptions I believe it to be a magnificent burst of passion toward another.  A couple can feel this and then grow in intimacy and commitment to match the passion they feel, and I hope those who live giving their feelings greater quarter than I do do so.

That said, love day by day is based around commitment.  It's commitment that comes easily because we feel intimate and passionate about one another.  Commitment is a powerful concept, and - likely due to the aforementioned emotional austerity - I feel more important for a relationship than passion.  Being dedicated to another is what will allow one to break down their barriers and their pride and allow themselves to be vulnerable in the unnerving depths of intimacy.  I've always belived passion and physical affection in particular should represent a deeper commitment, and as such I've become more passionate toward my fiancée as I've committed more and more to her.  Commitment lasts beyond hurt feeling and dull days, and I'll gladly live without love at first sight, as long as I have love day by day.